The Show Must Go On

The Election

Although billed as a national election it was more farce than anything. President Bush had soiled both himself and the country in economic incontinence. Once again it was up to Joe to change the bed, the diaper and the baby. Unaware that things sinister were about to emerge from the shadows, Joe rolled up his sleeves, clinched his nose and dove in to the presidential primaries. Once the race had ended, Joe would discover that the banking system was on life support in the intensive care unit. The prognosis was dismal.

The next president would have to sell the American people on the idea that, while they had been hoodwinked and assaulted by their system, it was okay because Americans were resilient. If every American would simply go along with the program, all would be well in the end. Trillion became the new billion. Joe’s purchasing power would dwindle as the Federal Reserve Bank would authorize even more American debt to pay the previous amount owing which the country could not afford. This influx of debt based currency would stem the bleeding, temporarily. The perceived value of Joe’s money would be less, through the alchemical formula known as ‘the calculation of interest.’ Although Joe would not make the connection between this calculation and his growing poverty, he would perceive the result as 'inflation.'

Joe average had a proven record of surviving stab wounds of betrayal. His back had always recovered from punctures and although these cuts were especially deep, Joe was encouraged to suffer like a good soldier. If he was unhappy with the way ‘his’ government was run, all would be remedied by the upcoming presidential election.

Both main political parties recognized that the Republican party had less than no chance of retaining the presidency. For the Democrats, this meant they could offer a most extreme candidate with confidence. For the GOP, it meant that somebody had to take a ‘hit’ for the good of the party. The Republicans would offer someone who was ready to be put out to pasture. Their candidate would have to be an individual who would be recognized as a fighter and would have to make a good show of it. Straws were drawn and John McCain got the short end.

Across the aisle, the optimism was intoxicating. This was the best chance the ‘progressive left’ would have to field a viable woman candidate. Their choice was New York Senator Hillary Clinton. She did have two strikes against her. She was wildly unpopular with the political center for her views on abortion, the environment and health care. She carried even more excess political baggage. Her husband, Bill Clinton had left a bad taste in the mouth of too many voters. His seat on Air Force One was not yet cold when he began to whore out to the corporate world and he was happy to associate with any who could remit the kind of retainer or honorarium a retired president could expect. Bill’s commercial associations would prove to be an embarrassment to Hillary, when they conflicted with the Senators political posture.

If Hillary were to be nominated, the Democrats would have to field a primary opponent who had incurable defects. He would have to be articulate, charismatic and unelectable. They did find just such a candidate who had the requisite ‘black mark’ against him. He had two strikes coming to the plate in the fact that he was a ‘Negro’. His first name was Islamic, Barack being the animal upon which Mohammed was said to have ridden into heaven. His middle name was identical to the recently condemned Saddam Hussein. His last name rhymed with Osama. Thus, Barack Hussein Obama was chosen to lose a vigorous Democratic primary to Hillary Rodham Clinton. Hillary would be devastated when despite these impediments, Mr. Obama proved to be more popular than she. Clinton would be further humiliated by being rejected as Obama’s vice presidential candidate.

McCain, likely reasoning that he might draw away some disaffected Hillary voters, seized this opportunity to pick a woman to be his running mate. McCain playing things close to the vest, was coy when asked about his choice for second in command. Names were being mentioned. Anonymous sources were quoted as to those being considered for the position. None would admit being contacted. Indeed, none was interested. Being chosen as McCain’s VP political kiss of death. In desperation, McCain chose the first woman who was suggested to him. The unknown Sarah Palin was chosen much like might happen in a 1960’s sitcom. Out of the blue, McCain pointed towards Palin and exclaimed, I want that girl! After their defeat, she would continue entertain the illusion that she could be a viable presidential candidate for 2012. Perhaps she could tap Marlo Thomas to be her running mate.

Ron Paul to his credit, entered the mix with a sober message that connected with the American people. He advocated the abolition of the Federal Reserve Bank and repudiation of the appurtenant national debt, but he would not be taken seriously by the major news media outlets. Unbeknownst to the American people, such repudiation would certainly raise the ire of the Chinese, from whom the Bush administration had borrowed $750 billion. There was too much at stake to allow Paul to destroy it all for the sake of sanity.

In the end, it would be Barack Obama playing FDR to Bush’s Herbert Hoover, who would complete the transformation from a private to a public economy. Socialism would be accepted as the only alternative to the economic crisis. The banking system would have to be nationalized but it would be alright.

The morning after the election and celebration, average Joe collected his pink slip. He had placed his home on the market, confident that some buyer would come along and help him get out from under the burden of debt.

The news was not all bad though. Bush still had enough dough to buy a 8,501-square-foot ranch-style home in the wealthy North Dallas neighborhood of Preston Hollow. The stars still danced with each other, there was new American Idol and Paris Hilton had purchased a new pink car, happier than ever. Susan Boyle had at last been discovered.

Joe grabbed another beer and turned on the TV. After all, the show must go on.

© 2009 I.M. Jacobson

The Global Depression of the 21st century.

Wall Street Got Drunk


In less than eight years, we were ruined. America was bogged down in two unpopular foreign wars of dubious benefit. As another conflict was brewing in Pakistan, George W Bush simply walked away as if nothing had happened.

It was a horrible legacy. After having declared war on two Middle East nations, the Republican president left the public a $750 billion going away-present. Bush borrowed the same amount from the communist Chinese to finance the war. The perpetrators of this fiasco justified the necessity of their actions by saying that the affair was equitable due to Saddam Hussein’s ‘Al-Qaeda ’ nexus . Though that connection proved to be fiction, the cost was real. Three-quarters of a trillion dollars was the immediate cost of the bailout.

What exactly happened to the American financial complex? Did the Chinese government pull their $750 billion war loans out of the banks, thereby collapsing the American banking system? Was it the huge increase in fuel prices that drove the economy into the ditch? Perhaps it was both. In any case, Bush and his well connected buddies were rich because of it, while average Joe was descending into the pit of insolvency.

Americans began losing their jobs and their homes in record numbers. Throwing a steady stream of mind numbing television programs down their throats like so much cheap gin, America tried to forget that the whole thing was based upon deception. Television programs like "American Idol" distracted the people while the economic structure disintegrated. America was in a hand-basket and few cared where it was going. There was little reason to worry. The new president said the basket would be okay. It would of course take yet a few trillion tax dollars more, but Joe was good for it.

The big banks were treated to a cash giveaway which they used to gobble up little banks. Bush would joke that Wall Street got drunk and that the collapse of the economy was the hangover. He should know. It was he who had given the party and what a bash it was. As the investment sector, feeling sick and demanding more of ‘the hair of the dog’ that bit everyone, average Joe had to take care of the housekeeping. Joe began cleaning up the regurgitation while the bankers staggered again toward the open bar, courtesy of the Federal Reserve Bank.

The system worked...for some.

© 2009 Craig Portwood